The death of a loved one is a hard reality to grasp. Often, it can feel like a bad dream that you just can’t wake up from. Although you may know that your loved one is very sick or in the process of dying, the unavoidability of dying always feels sudden, unforeseen and unbelievable. It’s shocking.
It is important to recognize that shock is a natural part of the grieving process and can occur many times before the loss fully settles in. Although it doesn’t feel normal, it’s your body’s way of handling painful experiences. Given time, the shock will weaken, but you must understand this process is hard, and it takes time to accept death.
Most of all, keep in mind that although the grieving process is difficult and the loss is shocking, there will come a time when you will acknowledge and accept the loss. You will always remember the loved ones you have lost, but you do not need to always grieve their absence.
If you find yourself struggling with the shock and overwhelming grief of losing a loved one, keep these phrases in mind:
- Allow your grief
- Be patient with yourself
- Be willing to change things
Our bereavement services are available to families for up to 13 months following the loss of a loved one. We also host monthly support group sessions at our Hospice of North Alabama locations. Support groups offer families and friends a platform to share their experience with others in the community who are facing similar situations. Please contact us for more information about our bereavement services.
Your loved one can no longer do the many tasks they once could. They now depend on you for many of these things. The easiest solution may be to simply take over and make decision, but it’s important to be respectful of your loved ones. As a caregiver, you want to protect your loved one’s dignity and sense of self-worth.
Put yourself in their shoes. Imagine if your independence had slipped away. You can no longer drive, walk, or get out of bed. These once simple tasks now require help from someone else. How would this make you feel? You may feel frustrated. This loss of freedom would most likely cause you to want to keep control over as much as you possibly could.
Here are some helpful suggestions:
- Put yourself in your loved one’s place. How would you want to be treated if you were being cared for?
- Educate yourself on your loved one’s condition. This can prepare you for what’s ahead.
- Help them do what they can on their own for as long as possible. This will give them a sense of control.
- Talk openly and honestly with your loved one. Try to involve them in decisions and be a good listener.
- Be flexible. Try an accommodate reasonable requests if you can.
- Give positive feedback if your loved one does a task on their own.
Grieving for loved ones who are experiencing a life-limiting illness is natural for families and friends. This process can often begin before death occurs. Hospice of North Alabama Bereavement Services are available for those who are coping with losing a loved one. Our staff is committed to working closely with families who are working through the grieving process. Our services include:
- One-on-one support
- Print materials
- Supportive phone calls
- In-home support sessions
Our support is available to families for up to 13 months following the loss of a loved one. We also host monthly support group sessions at our Hospice of North Alabama locations. Support groups offer families and friends a platform to share their experience with others in the community who are facing similar situations.
Our services don’t stop once your loved one has passed. We are committed to helping families and friends of patients even after they are gone. Please contact us for more information about our Bereavement Services.
Today we celebrate Respect for the Aged Day. This holiday, known in Japan as “Keiro no Hi,” was originally created to celebrate and honor the elderly in Japan. Over time the holiday gained worldwide recognition and became a national holiday in 1966. Since 2003, Respect for the Aged Day has been celebrated on the third Monday of September.
Here are five ways to celebrate Respect for the Aged Day:
- Visit your elders! Visit your parents and grandparents and let them know how much you appreciate them.
- Connect with those you cannot visit in person. Write a letter, send a message, or call an elderly person who has made an impact on your life.
- Take an elderly member of your community to lunch, or take lunch to them. Engage in conversation about their life and their experiences.
- Consider an act of kindness. Open a door, offer your seat, volunteer to carry groceries, or take flowers to an elderly member of your community.
- Volunteer at a local hospice like Hospice of North Alabama, or at a senior center, nursing home, or assisted living facility. This can include one-on-one fellowship, offering up time to read aloud or work on a puzzle, leading a craft or activity, or sharing a talent such as singing or dancing.
Happy Respect for the Aged Day! How do you plan to celebrate?
Life-Limiting Illnesses – When to call hospice
A life-limiting illness is an incurable chronic disease or condition that no longer respond to curative treatments.
Examples of a life-limiting illness include:
- Alzheimer’s Disease or Dementia
- Parkinson’s Disease
- Heart Disease
- Pulmonary Disease
- Liver Disease
- End-stage Renal Disease
A life limiting illness, coupled with symptoms below, could be indicators of decline and hospice eligibility:
- Frequent hospitalizations, ER visits, or visits to the physician within the last six months
- Progressive weight loss (with consideration to weight gain factors such as edema, when applicable)
- Decreasing appetite
- Dysphagia or difficulty swallowing
- Increased weakness or fatigue
- Decline in cognitive status or functional abilities
- Increasing assistance needed with Activities of Daily Living (ADLs)
- Increasing pain or increasing difficulty in controlling pain
- Increasing dyspnea or shortness of breath
- Oxygen dependency
- Reoccurring infections
- Increased nausea and/or vomiting that is difficult to control
- A desire to forgo future hospitalizations
- A request to discontinue treatment
- Recurrent or frequent infections
- Skin breakdown
- A specific decline in condition
If you or a loved one has a life-limiting illness and are experiencing any of the above symptoms, consider speaking to your physician about hospice services. You can also call Hospice of North Alabama at 1-800-314-9863, and one of our team members can help guide you through the process of requesting hospice through your physician.
Let yourself grieve. It’s important to let yourself take this roller coaster ride and feel your emotions rather than suppress them. No matter how hard you try to bury those feelings of grief, they will continue to resurface, and you won’t be able to truly move on. Start the healing process by giving into grief.
Lean on friends and family. Your friends and family expect you to be upset. While they may not always know the right things to do or say, they do want to be there for you even if it’s just to listen or offer affection. Never feel too proud or embarrassed to lean on them in this time of need.
Join a support group – online or offline. Whether you find a group through social media or in person, support groups provide ways to talk and listen to others who are in the same position and truly understand what you are going through.
Focus on the positive aspects of your life. The loss you are experiencing could feel like the worst thing that’s ever happened to you and no one can change your mind. Despite this, what you need to do is reflect on all the good aspects that continue to bless your life and are worth pushing through the grief.
Keep yourself busy. Become more involved, go on a trip, try something new – participate in activities you enjoy and that can keep you focused on something other than your grief. Redirect your energy into doing things you’ve always wanted to do but never prioritized.
Breathe. If ever you find the grief to be too overwhelming, take a few deep breaths. The body’s breathing becomes shallow when we are feeling tense or stressed, resulting in insufficient oxygen to the body. This adds to the stress you are already feeling, so focusing on conscious, deeps breaths helps you relax and breathe normally.
Journaling while grieving can help you document and process the feelings of grief you are experiencing. As you begin the healing process and reconnecting with who you once were, you may start thinking about or telling yourself things you would want to record. Putting these thoughts and feelings into words can be very beneficial and help in better working through the grief. This is why it is a great idea to keep a grief journal.
There are many, different ways you can start to fill up your journal. From creative writing and poetry to journaling and writing letters to your deceased loved one, each way provides you with a venue to communicate without fear of being judged. Opening up and disclosing your feelings to others can be difficult, but each of these methods allows you to express what you are feeling in a more personal, therapeutic way.
Research demonstrates that grief journaling after a significant loss has beneficial value. Experts explain that ‘reconstructing your personal self-narrative’ is crucial to the healing process. A grief journal can assist you in recording your experience, recognizing patterns, and establishing growth.
Are you interested in grief journaling but aren’t sure where to start? Here are some writing prompts to get you started:
- Today, I am really missing…
- I feel most connected to my loved one when I…
- If I could talk to you again, I’d tell you…
- My goal for this week…
- I know I’m going to be okay because…
Serving as a hospice volunteer can be an incredibly rewarding experience. Many feel led to volunteer after a personal experience with hospice for a loved one, although a personal experience is not required. Whether you are looking to provide direct care or indirect care for our patients at Hospice of North Alabama, your time as a volunteer can increase the quality of our patients’ and families’ lives while providing support to the hospice team.
Direct Care Volunteers have an opportunity to provide emotional, social, and spiritual support to patients and their families. This type of volunteer can also provide social interaction and caregiver relief. Our volunteers are carefully matched with the patients and families that they serve, and consideration is given for both the needs of the patient and the needs of a volunteer prior to a match. Volunteers will never be expected to complete volunteer assignments that are outside of their scope of comfort. Examples of direct care volunteering include: providing companionship with patients, preparing meals for patients and families, light housework, yard work, and sharing talents such as singing, reading, or playing cards.
Indirect Care Volunteers have an opportunity to support our patients, their families, and our hospice team through administrative services. These services enhance the day to day operations of our hospice team. Examples of indirect care volunteering include: office support, clerical duties, setup for special events, and preparation of bereavement letters, mailings, or newsletters for community outreach.
Hospice of North Alabama complies with applicable Federal civil rights laws and does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, national origin, age, disability, or sex. Our team welcomes and invites anyone with an interest in serving others to consider becoming a hospice volunteer. Previous hospice experience is not required. Our training involves an orientation to hospice care, CPR certification (for Direct Care Volunteers), a TB skin test, and a review of volunteer job responsibilities.
For more information or to become a Volunteer at Hospice of North Alabama, contact Erica Hubbard, Volunteer Coordinator, at 256-476-6062 or email@example.com.
Hospice of North Alabama has earned the 2018 SHPBestTM Hospice Caregiver Satisfaction Award
Hospice of North Alabama has been recognized by Strategic Healthcare Programs (SHP) as a superior for achieving an overall caregiver and family satisfaction score that ranked in the top 20% of all eligible SHP clients for the 2018 calendar year.
The annual SHPBest™ award program was created to acknowledge hospice providers that consistently provide high quality service to families and caregivers of patients receiving hospice care. The 2018 award recipients were determined by reviewing and ranking the overall CAHPS Hospice survey satisfaction score for more than 1,000 hospice providers. With one of the largest CAHPS Hospice benchmarks in the nation, SHP is in a unique position to identify and recognize organizations that have made family and caregiver satisfaction satisfaction a priority and have been rewarded for their efforts with high marks on the CAHPS Hospice survey.
“SHP is proud to present the SHPBest awards to our top-performing customers. We commend these organizations for their continuous focus on delivering the highest quality of care to their patients”, said Rob Paulsson, President of SHP.
Hospice of North Alabama is proud to accept this prestigious award. Every day, we work to provide the best home health services to our patients and we would like to thank all of our staff for working hard to help make this award possible.
Read more about the SHPBest awards program, including methodology and award recipient lists at https://www.shpdata.com/hospice/shpbest-cahps-hospice/.
Erica Hubbard, Volunteer Coordinator for Hospice of North Alabama, decorating the HNA tree for The Enchanted Forest!